I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
