he wants to bone in the snuggie
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
