i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Alive.
So much puke
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
