ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
