He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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