Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize