I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
