I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
