she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
