he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im holly from the hills drunk
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
