NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
