I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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