i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
