i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
