the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
