I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just want nice things and good sex
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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