I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize