Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
