sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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