I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
