dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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