i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
