Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
