Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize