i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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