its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
