She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
