you're like a bully in the Christmas story
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
