Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
