I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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