I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
