i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
