I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
