I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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