And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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