I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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