You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
