Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
