OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
