He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
