If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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