apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
two words...techno handjob
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
