Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
