hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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