So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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