I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
