Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
