I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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