Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
