i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
