So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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