like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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