I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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