Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
