Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
