I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
