So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
