But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
