someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
