I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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